no more blogging
How do you know when the blog is dead? When you have the worst and the best day in your work life all in one day, and you don't have any urge to write about it afterwards. Yep. Even I don't visit here anymore.
dream
This morning I dreamed of 2 big snakes, bigger than anaconda with bodies thicker than my waist, moving in my bed. Not a scary dream at all; it was more like those lazy dreams that make you want to cuddle. Waking up, I immediately felt great. Snake in the dream is a prosperity sign. The bigger the snake, the better the fortune. Dreaming of 2 enormous snakes is therefore a very good thing...
random thoughts
Today I had to lower my listing price of my home in Dallas dramatically. The original price was very reasonable, but there was just no single buyer out there. Feeling blue...
It was a beautiful day. I drove pass Highland Park and saw a woman in full tennis outfit practicing serving by herself in this nice neighborhood tennis court. Reflecting on my current life, with a hundred balls in the air and a million things to do, I thought out aloud: "Would I rather have her life?" Two years ago this time, I was full time golfing, practicing yoga, playing tennis and enjoying free time. Would I rather live the life now, with tremendous stress and responsibility, or the life then? The answer is surprisingly black and white. I want my life now. This is the path I have chosen. It's not easy, but at least it is not boring, and occasionally, it's even fun.
motivator
What does it take to make me happy? Well, window office with ocean view will certainly do it! :D
dim sum again
I didn't mean to organize another get together, but there it was. Afterwards, I continued to talk with my friend and she gave me a brilliant idea about how to approach an issue that I had on my mind.
depressed
When I started this blog in May 05, I had just gone through a difficult period of my life. During the two and half years of nomad living, I always had a high spirit. These days, however, it became so hard for me to maintain that high spirit. Sure, there were many happy moments, like the BC trip, like the birthday party 2 nights ago, but my mood in general has been in an irritable state. For the first time since I left the Bay Area, I'd wake up in the morning and hate everything. I'm a mess right now. No one is there for me the way I needed them. I don't need lecture or wisdom. I need a sympathetic shoulder. Maybe I have always portrayed my life so shinny without any flaws both on the blog and in my real life, no one is prepared to give me the sympathetic shoulder, or no one knows I need it. Under my cheerful perky external image, I'm drowning deeper and deeper into desperation. Words are like knives. Heart might heal, but the scares might remain forever. My dear God, are you still listening to me and caring for me?
inconveniences
Work actually has been very busy and I spent a lot of time on the phone. Life is very inconvenient right now. I don't know when it will get better.
And it gets better
Now the lemonade just turned into honey. No, nothing more happened at my job. I went to a birthday party tonight and I had an absolutely awesome time. In contrast to yesterday, my heart was filled with warmth tonight. It was through this job, I was able to meet all these great people who love me and appreciate me. The heck with management doesn't appreciate me.
But I'm also sad, because some of these relationships are quite new and I want to invest more in them. I wish I don't have to move so soon...
lemon and lemonade
I guess I shouldn't be given the lemon in the first place. And honestly, no one was trying to give me a lemon on purpose. It's just a large organization sometimes unconsciously turns itself into a lemon tree. We are in people business and supposedly we are experts in people relationships. How do you treat your clients well when you don't know how to treat your employees well? But not all people hold a job are qualified for that job, we all know that.
Maybe when things look bleak, it is hard to think about anything positive. That's how I felt yesterday. I wasn't interested in anything (except TV and I watched Godfather I, II and 2-3 episodes of American Idols on Tivo). Today, however, I discovered (already) 3 ways that I could benefit from the situation. Now if I could get my to-do list shorter, life would be perfect again...
no joy
I realized on the way home today, that all these to-dos sucked all the joy out of my live. I have absolutely no joy at the moment. This is not the life I want.
Oh, it's been crazy!
Life is happening faster than I can describe it. It has been very hectic, from finishing the required courses for my designation exam, to organizing a 80 people Chinese New Year party, to looking for an internal transfer to San Diego, to listing my Dallas condo for sell, to checking out every single eligible high rise building in San Diego as our potential future home and finally to hosting this big family reunion vacation in Canada. All that in the past couple of weeks! Not to mention I have my regular work load to maintain and I'm also doing some "small" projects, such as refinancing my rental property. I can honestly say that I have never felt so pressed for time in my entire life. Yet, I found (proudly) that I have infinite capacity of taking on more tasks. Although in the beginning, life felt like a long to-do list, I can now relax into my ever challenging days and start to feel the joy in accomplishing all these. Now let me give you a short version of the last two weeks by blogging backwards and filling some blanks on this page...
BC Trip, Last Day
Everything was so great. I could not believe we were already leaving. And on the last day, it snowed. How could life be more perfect - in the short week, we had light rain, heavy rain, cloudy sky, blue sky, sun and snow. We've seen the mountain in all kind of light, color and texture. For the first time, I wish I can photograph this all, you know, like what you see on the National Geography magazine. Well, I need to get a SLR camera first.
BC Trip, Day 5
Ok, it was Valentine's Day. Need I say more? Everyone was happy. The non-skiers took the gondola ride all the way above the cloud. No one wanted to come down. I kept asking (as a good tour guide) whether I should push back lunch so we could stay at the top longer. Everyone said no, no, no. Then no one was leaving! It was the pinnacle moment of this trip and it made me feel really really happy when everyone else is happy.
BC Trip, Day 4
Wednesday was a beautiful sunny day. Some of us toured the many stores in Whistler village, others went skiing. But Wednesday was actually the most important day of the whole trip. It was the reason that we were there - it was hubby's birthday. We did gifts, cake, dinner and all the usual stuff. The wonderful thing was we were all there, my parents, his parents, his sister's family, in this beautiful place away from the rest of the world and focusing on him for his birthday. Isn't that really wonderful?
BC Trip, Day 3
It rained hard. We left Vancouver early in the morning to drive the Whistler. None of us had been to Whistler except for hubby, who had been there multiple times in the past. We were all dazzled by the spectacular scenery.
When we got there, it was cold and rainy. Since I didn't know which restaurant to go to and where to park, it was pure luck that we ended up in a French restaurant that served Raclette. Raclette is my favorite food of all time and it is hard to find it in the States. The restaurant was warm and cozy and everyone had an excellent time.
The huge house we rented by the lake was just awesome. Even hubby acknowledged that I had done well in renting this one. The house was almost brand new and custom built with every amenity you could think of. The kitchen was gourmet and fully stocked. All the tiles and flooring and knobs on the cabinets were custom designed and made. We even have a steam shower in the master bed room. But the most amazing part was the view. Oh, what a panoramic view that was! The lake was still frozen and covered with snow, but the snow mountain behind the lake was unbelievably breathtaking.
What a great way to have a family vacation!
BC Trip, Day 2
This was a family day. We picked up the first group from the airport early in the morning and the second group in the early afternoon. I went shopping with my parents and actually got some cool stuff.
In the afternoon we went to my granduncle's house and spent time with my relatives in Vancouver. It was great to see so many people that I hadn't seen for years! I love family gatherings.
BC Trip, Day 1
Despite of getting home after midnight, we had to leave around 8 am to go to the airport. It was an international flight, so we should arrive 2 hours prior to departure, right? Actually, the border was in Vancouver so we didn't have to arrive that early. But I didn't know that and wanted to play it safe. The flight was delayed due to late arrival of the aircraft, so we REALLY didn't have to arrive that early...
Anyway, can you pack for 1 week of travel in 30 minutes? I was so exhausted after the eventful trip to SD that I had to go to bed. So I got up early to pack and to sign all the paperwork necessary for listing my condo on the market. Later on I found that I brought 4 pairs of blue jeans in different shade!?!? Hey, who can think straight with little sleep and no time to pack?
We rented two huge SUVs for the group (9 adults and 1 baby). Our hotel was very nice and located right in the heart of downtown Vancouver. Thanks hubby for making all the car and hotel arrangements - a few less to-dos on my list!
We made a mistake by having dinner first before going shopping. All shops close so early there, we ended up with little to do for the night.
course 5, done
Last one to go. This is hard. I then need to take a 10-hour test end of March. I can't believe I'm so close to accomplish my crazy idea of finishing all 6 courses in 4 weeks. Hehe.
Kuby's, Dallas
I forgot to mention that I went to Kuby's yesterday. My GPS directed me there. What a find! It's a cozy German restaurant in the back of a grocery store. When you are inside, you can't tell that you are in Dallas. It could very well be in a small town Germany or somewhere in Austria. I simply loved it. Now that I'm leaving Dallas, I still keep finding great restaurants to go to. Too many places to go, too little time...
On the study front, I'm only 64% though course 5. I need to work harder on it.
course 5 going very slowly
I think with all the other things I'm doing, it is hard, if not impossible, to get time to study. I only started on course 5 this Saturday. I wanted to finish course 5 by last Thursday so I could study the last course this weekend. Oh, well.
After a whole day of studying, I was only 30% though. Realistically, I will get another 30% tomorrow (Sunday). That would put the completion date on Tuesday next week. I will have no time to study for course 6 if that's the case. Oh, I'm so close to my goal, yet so far to reach there. Alright, no more blogging, I am going back to my study.
leased
The big good news of the day was that the rental property got leased out. Of course more paperwork and physical work needs to be done, but I could check off one thing on my 10 big projects list - "decide whether to lease or sell the property." Great! Now I only got 9 big projects to go. 加油！
I talked with my boss again about the strategy and positioning of my transfer. She is a straight talker and I like her. I don't, however, like the options I have. Let me attend to other things on the list and come back to this later.
good news of the day
The positive side of having so much to do is that every day you make some major progress on something. Each day, there is always something that makes me very happy. For example, I forgot to mention that I was more than thrilled yesterday after I completed a very detailed analysis on one of my rental properties that I would be cash flow positive after getting a new renter and refinance the loan. I totally expected the worst, especially after I found out that the mortgage on that property was an ARM and would be 175 basis points higher by next month.
Today's good news came entirely unexpected. I only have a limited number of friends here in Dallas. What are the odds for one of my best friends here in Dallas to independently come to a decision to move to my new city? I have not told her about my move yet. Not because I like secrecy. I'm hosting this party next week and I just don't want it turn into a farewell party or have the topic of moving become the topic of the night. I will tell everybody after the party, but not before or during. Anyway, my outlook of the new city just got better knowing I might even have a friend there!
absolutely no privacy
I was shopping online for my new home again. As you know, a week ago I spent whole night doing research of homes in my new city. I found one unit that I really liked. Today I went online trying to find out more about that unit. I was shocked as how much I found out about the place. Not only I found out how much the seller bought the place, and how much the owner before him paid for the place, but also the seller's name, his business, his wife's business, number of employees in the business and annual sales, how much tax they paid on that property, what other properties they own and when they had acquired them. I even came across info such as the sports they play and the political party they belong to and believe it or not, a picture of the seller. This is very scary. Is there no privacy at all in this open wild wild web? And I wasn't even trying very hard.
making progress
12 hours of non-stop working and more things to do after work. Oh, I'm exhausted. I got a lot done though, made progress on a number of things on moving, buying, selling and partying. More notably, though, was that I scheduled an interview for my internal transfer with the peer of my boss' boss' boss. Not because I'm so important there, I just lucked out as some positions have not been filled due to a recent re-org. So I guess everything is progressing nicely. I just needed some sleep! But no, I stayed up to watch Australian Open. I'm helpless.
Course 4, Done
Toshi knocked my coffee cup over, maid walked in on me, no building internet access - all these happened during my final exam for completing course 4. But at the end, it was done. 2 more courses to go...
Surprising visit from a friend
I said this again and again - no one visits me here in Dallas! So when one of my friends from Europe came to visit, I was delighted. Of course, he wasn't here to visit me, he was here on business. But still.
My study was going slow. I locked myself inside for the entire Saturday to finish reading the book. I was about to do the same thing on Sunday, but the friend's visit changed that plan. Though the visit was short, I had to spend time to clean up my place & myself and drive to and from the meeting place, so my hours of study was significantly reduced. I was not complaining at all. In fact, I was happy to have a distraction. I was extremely happy to have a visitor, as Dallas is just not a popular place for people to come and visit!
Anyway, I studied till 3:40 am. Good thing that Monday is a holiday.
random thoughts
PIG and PTP. While I had discussed this with quite a few accountants, no one had pointed out to me that one could only deduct loss from a PTP against the income from the SAME PTP.
Also, the exception to the nonrecognition of gain realized on sale of personal residence is inclusive of change in place of employment.
Both are nice finds during the study of my tax book. I really need a new accountant.
Toshi likes to sleep on top of me when I study on the couch. He has his tummy and paws up and sleeps like a human on my body. Sometimes he snores. Have you ever seen a cat snore? When the reading light is in his eyes, he would use his front paws to cover his eyes and face and continue to sleep! I wish someone other than me was home so I could have a picture of this!
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