Beam Reach

A small list of things that I still want ...

I want to say that I'm very grateful.  Grateful for everything in my life - my health, my family, my career, my friends and my loving fat lazy cat Toshiba.  Oh, Toshi (who is sitting next to me and purring), I so love you.  I also need to admit that I don't feel happy all the time.  I should, but sometimes I just don't.  Nevertheless, I think generally speaking, I'm happier now than most time periods in my life.  Maybe this is even the happiest period.  I used to ask God for many things.  Slowly, everything I asked for was given to me.  And I am very grateful.  I just watched the documentary "Secret" on TV tonight.  It coincides with my belief.  Anyway, I feel that I drifted a little lately and have not worked hard on being happy.  So I think it's time to take an inventory and make a list of things that I still like to have someday.   

Here is the list:

• Please show me the way on how to (whisper it to God's ear) by end of this year
• Please show me the way to decide on this personal matter (whisper it to God's ear)
• Please help (whisper it to God's ear) at this important life stage
• Please one day let me master dancing, photography, piano, riding and my other fancies
• Please show me the way to be more relaxed about life, so I no long need to make this list :)

Now, why are we so obsessed about being happy?

So everyone knows about this???

Tonight was one of my regular tennis nights.  We had four adults and one teenager playing, plus our coach.  Our coach stopped us in the middle of the play and said: "Do you know our brain does not register negative words?  So if you tell yourself 'don't hit to the net girl', you probably will hit to the net girl.  Instead, you should tell yourself to 'hit cross court' or 'hit straight'." 

All four of us adults nodded.  One agreed eagerly: "That's me.  This is so true."  Another added: "This is just like positive thinking - remove the negative thought and only think positively."  All agreed again in various verbal acknowledgements.  I was amazed. 

I have believed this concept for a very long time now.  More precisely, I think God does not register negative words when you ask for things.  For example, when you pray as "I don't want to loss", you probably would loss; but if you pray as "I'm in the process of winning", you probably would win.  Note that I did not say "I want to win".  "I want to win" emphasizes on "want", the desire, not the result.  So if you say "I want to win", you'd probably end up in the stage of constant desire.   

So obviously, I was in agreement with the coach.  I was surprised that the coach believes this concept, and I was even more surprised that the other three adult players also believe this concept, and the most surprising of all was that everyone treated this as a well understood concept such as the moon circles the earth. 

And I thought I was special...

Hints

Since we are on the topic of spiritual matters, I guess I would talk about hints. The Big Guy gives lots of hints in our daily lives. Sometime we don't see them. Correction – most of the times we don't see them. If we still don't get it, then one day, **Wham!** A huge slap on the face.

How do we avoid the "wham"? If we notice the hints earlier, we could probably avoid the bigger disappointments in life. But in order to "Get It", we need to be observant and reflective. And after we "get it", we must act on it, quickly. Some would call this "trust your intuition". The key word here is "trust". And "trust" is closely associated with "faith".

God, Toshi and I

I always feel the relationship between God and I is similar to the relationship between myself and Toshi. For example, if I withhold food from Toshi, I am doing it for his benefit, because I don't want him to be overweight and develop illness. Toshi, on the other hand, would not understand. He would cry and whine about getting more food. Although I understand what Toshi wants, it is hard for me to communicate the rationale behind withholding food from him to Toshi. Toshi understands that I love him very much, and he loves me unconditionally too. Similarly, when I pray to God, I might not get all I ask for from Him. Clearly, He knows what I want. But He also knows what is best for me. I might not understand His rationale, but as long as I know He loves me and I love Him, then I should live with faith.

Does love need to be earned?

Ever since I finished reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand a couple of months ago, I've been thinking on and off about this question.  Does love need to be earned?  Is there a God?  These two questions seem to be unrelated.  But if you think about it, both questions are questions about faith.  Whether it is unconditional love or God, faith is required.  Do I want people to love me only for my virtues, such as my youth, beauty, capability and amiability?  What if I lose these virtues?  What if people who love me for these virtues meet someone who is younger, prettier, more capable and more agreeable?  Then are they free to switch?  I want to be loved because I'm "me".  But then the question is: "Who am I without my characteristics?"  It is certainly comforting to believe in unconditional love, a constant in a sea of moving parts.  But does such a thing as unconditional love exist?  Should we have faith in love?  or should we continuously working on our virtues to stay in love? or both?

more random thoughts

So this came up in a discussion.  One of the women in the group said that, when facing a decision, God already knows what you will choose.  Another woman disagreed, countered with, "What about free will?"

Do you think our life path has been laid for us or do you think that we make our own path? 

I think both are right.  How so?  I believe we are here on earth with a purpose.  We all have our own fate or path, which we unconsciously follow.  Every person we met, every decision we made and every task we took are leading us down to our destiny.  And that destiny has already been decided.  So yes, I think our life path has been laid for us.

That is not to say that we need to live a passive life.  If we knew our destiny, then decisions would be simple.  But how many people know their destiny?  An active life is full of conscious acts of trying to figure out what the path is.  We are free to choose.  We are also free to make mistakes.  If we do it right, we could follow our destiny and live the life we originally intended to live.  If we do it wrong, we do make our own path, in a way, failing our original intend.  But, if we believe in reincarnation, then, no big deal, we will try again next time around.  Hopefully we will do better and get it right. 

Back to decision making.  Since there is no uncorrectable consequences to self (again, assuming that soul evolves), there is really no bad decisions for oneself.  Nothing bad, just different.  The considerations, then, should be focused on the person(s) the decision would affect.  Maybe thinking less about "me" in decision making would make things easier.

Abundance and Scarcity

Over the years, I've trained myself to believe that life is abundant. 

It started by simply believing that everything would turn out ok.  Somehow, some way, I would be saved from any major disasters at the last minute.  Then, slowly, it became "having faith", not necessary to God, but to the Universe in general.  Slowly, everything I love, everything I have and everything I experienced feel all like blessings from heaven above.

I don't know when I started to think life is abundant.  I'm sure it was not an original idea.  I must have heard it from someone or read it from somewhere.  Once the idea got in my mind, I found believing in it was not that hard.  Won't you want to believe the abundance of the Universe, so whatever you desire materially would not take away from the poor children in Africa or China? 

Yet, when you are facing a challenge in life, and you want things from the Universe today, not sometime in the future, it becomes harder to hold on to this belief.  Then you start to think - I have health, I have family and I am doing better than a lot of people out there.  There are all those people who need help much more than I do.  Why would the Universe single me out and help me?  And you think further - I should realize and appreciate the abundance in my own life, won't I be too greedy if I ask for more?  Behind those thoughts, the belief is weakened.

That's why we need faith.  Things happen or not happen, because they meant to be that way.  We may not understand what the Universe has planned for us or why, but hopefully we will someday.  It is difficult to analyze a situation and search for its meaning when you are in the midst of "experiencing" it.  But one day it would all be clear.  We just have to hang in there till that day comes.

Quiz #5 - Religious Philosophy

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

(day 101)

Shabtis & Scarab Beetle Amulets

The stories I heard in a tour at the British Museum were quite interesting.  Most interesting of all was the Egyptian's philosophy of "cheating" their way to a good afterlife. 

Shabtis, the small wooden figures, were believed to be servants who would serve the owner in the afterlife, are now believed to have a different duty - if the owner were called upon by the Gods to do any kind of compulsory labor, the shabti would respond and perform the duty instead of its owner.  It's kinda of like cheating, isn't it? 

And the scarab beetle amulets placed inside the mummy wrapper above the heart have a similar duty.  If the heart were asked on the journey to the afterlife whether or not the owner had broken any of the 42 virtues, the scarab amulet would make the heart stay silent and would pretend to be the heart and lie its way through the test.

Interesting indeed.

(day 78)

Do we really have to sacrifice to get what we want?

Personally, I don't think so. 

Sacrificing or not does not change the outcome.  Whether we choose the harder path or not does not change the outcome.  Sometimes people can feel guilty about their success, and feel that only doing the hard thing in life or making sacrifices can justify the luck or good fortune.  I disagree with that.

I think The Big Guy has plans for everyone.  And if you have faith, everything is going to turn out to be good.  There is a Chinese idiom that conveys the same idea.  It is called Chuan Dao Qiao Tou Zi Ran Zhi (or 船到桥头自然直).  It means, when the boat comes under the bridge, it will become straight.  I.e., everything will work out its way naturally.

So, we shall try our best, make our best effort, without sacrificing, without being miserable, and then, hope for the best outcome to realize itself.

(day 59)